Oh no. I have always thought being fat is a bit of a problem like being ugly or being smelly or being an alcoholic. Actually, I am all those things. However, I always thought my weight's not that bad, I mean look at Dawn French or Pauline Quirk. Please don't! They've gone all skinny. How dare they. The benchmark has been moved. Time for action because actually, I think Dawn French weighs less than me and that is hideously scarey.
I want to walk the marathon. I saw a poster advertising the London marathon walk in May. Oh, blow, I will be in France eating things. Ok, here's what I'll do. I have found the map of the Olympic marathon which looks much more straightforward. It's a circuit through the city and down Victoria Embankment performed three times with an extra bit where you visit the Queen. So for my first effort I would do it once carefully adhering to the map, second time I could manage a bit more a bit faster as by then I would know where I was going and finally I could manage the whole marathon. The problem with walking is it takes a long time. Oh well, I need a bit of serious exercise and I don't run; things are too wobbly.
I thought I'd carefully banished all thoughts of telephone boxes but of course I am now willing the end of March to come so I can know for sure that my designs have not been selected and I can wallow in disappointment. Doing this before the selection has actually taken place is a bit pointless; I may as well get on with some paintings and annoying Mr Smith.
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