Dorsetshire

I have been such a busy little bee.  Mr Smith went off golfing in Wales for a couple of days.  I was lonely but I did many a task and had a giant shouting match with my stupid mother.  She is driving me insane.  I really could do without her spoilt selfish manipulative behaviour right now.

I went up to London on Friday to the Savoy for cocktails and Jo Allen's for dinner.  It was an alcohol free evening to match my alcohol free Lent and it was fabulous.  If nobody else is drinking then you really don't feel the need to get sloshed.  However, I still managed a hangover the next day; just habit!
I stayed at my very odd brother in law's house which was extremely scummy.  I really don't think I can stay there again; it is just too uncomfortable.  I would have checked into the Renaissance hotel but it's £300 a night which is a bit steep.  I will find a nice hotel somewhere because I just cannot bear   that level of horror and discomfort for my London visits.  The bathroom is in a cupboard like on a boat, the bed is a horrible 1970s sofa bed with metal bits that dig into you and the furniture is a filing cabinet. The loo was broken and full of poo when I arrived (I had a fish around  in the cistern and got it to flush) and the main bathroom was absolutely disgusting.  The whole place stank.  Thank heavens a lovely Ukrainian cleaner with crap English but a handy loo brush attended the scene.  The house had a far lovelier aroma when I returned.

I am now in Dorset which is gorgeous.  My fat friend T has the most beautiful house in Dorchester.  Everything here is clean, comfortable and pretty.  I bought her a giant mushroom handbag which she absolutely loves.  Oh good because not everyone would want to carry round a toadstool with spots.

We went for a walk o'er the hills of Dorset and then around Portland on the Jurassic Coast - Amazing.  Oh the coastline - Portland Bill, Chesil Beach and the stunning cliff views just took my breath away.  Makes Kent look a bit dull.

The joy of staying with a fun friend.  We are wearing our onesies and making icing dogs for cupcakes today.  So gloriously untaxing and a million miles away from my mother, scuddy Geoffrey's flat, Mr Smith bollocking me for not putting out the rubbish properly which so isn't my job and all my nagging tasks.  A holiday!

Listless

The trouble of living by lists is they are never exhaustive.  Every task us simply replaced by another worse one.  I have done three outstanding monsters: finished off every bit of greenhouse, finished mending picture frames and picked up a load of junk I didn't want from my mother.

I have not got my cement mixer together, dug a herb bed, got the washing machine completely mended or started my painting.

I have booked my train ticket to go away next weekend.
I have cut strips for today's charity patchwork.
I have lost loads of weight.
I have started a new patchwork - bad me because I have so many half done ones.

Why can't I have simple things on my list like Get up.  Actually, that is often a mighty task. I love lolling around in bed reading the paper and messing up the crossword.  I feel a bit of that coming on now.

Spend spend spend

I won the lottery.  Well, I won £85 on the bonus ball pub sweepstake.  I was absolutely thrilled.  I feel rich now.  Viv Nicholson watch out.

I have bought a cement mixer to celebrate.  It arrives tomorrow and I am so excited.

I don't think it has rained for two weeks.  After the deluge we had day after day and everywhere being so flooded, including our cellar, this is a bit of a turn up.  Oh weather you are so strange.  I am actually having to water our plants.

I love my greenhouse.  New activity: pottering.

Hercules herself

I really am steaming through the tasks.

Greenhouse painted
Raised beds made, filled and planted
Sheets changed
Garage cleared
First batch of paving made
Emma's patchwork pieces and papers cut
3" lengths cut for charity project.

To be done
Picture frame
Hanging baskets
A painting.

You see it is all huge procrastination because I don't want to paint the picture.  I will do it one day.

I am going to stay with my fat friend T at the end of the month.  So exciting.

Tootie Frootie

Moth war waged.  Only one carpet threadbare round edges - others were like that when we bought them at grotty auctions - which is probably why we have moth.

Raspberries planted.  All very confusing but they look like dead sticks in the ground so I assume that's right.  I watched terrifying YouTube vids of terrible things that attack your raspberries like raspberry blight.  I would rather have sat through the exorcist and Alien several times.  Anyway, if they grow we will be amazed.  I have to buy them potash and manure.  Such hard work for two little squidgy fruits at the end of the summer.

Off to London today to the Knitting and Stitching Show at Olympia - my heavenly pig trough.  Mr Smith will be on his own.  I so hope he doesn't do too much damage.  

Mothly crew

I have now painted the greenhouse.  Sistine chapel eat your heart out.  It is white and lovely although there are splodges where the boys came to help.  In fact it looks like a flock of seagulls held a shitting party on the roof.  Oh well, I will get my handy little scraper onto it.

I walked to the cafe on Monday and it was open.  I then went onto Hythe.  Total 15 jolly good miles.  Actually, a new tea shoppe has just opened in the village with flowery bunting and poncy china and a notice telling you to keep calm and do something.  Oh how pleased I will be when they become yesteryear.  So really my 15 miles were a bit unnecessary.  I walked just across the road and had a cream tea.  Wow.  Lovely.

T and I are writing a book.  You cannot diet with a Hangover ... we tried.  First stop photos of selves. Second stop diet.  I have lost 9lbs so far and have been off the booze for Lent.  It doesn't seem to have made much difference to size of self.  I have to believe it will.

The boys went off to their hovel.  Oh it is so nice without them.  They are coming back today - groan.

Other news: Mr Smith's red pyjamas that he had made in India have made our sheets pink.  Our washing machine is leaking.  We have lost all the instructions to all our household appliances.  We can hardly shut our back door it has gone so wrong.  I keep seeing puppies - very tempting.  Not til paintings are finished.  Trying to revamp a gone wrong patchwork quilt.  Rather hard work.
We have moths.  Moth kit arrived so will wage war against the little critters.  

Adam Smith

My adventure involved a long walk to a tea shop that was closed!  And when I say long .... I mean 6 miles.  I took the bus back. It was full of the certified insane so I felt quite at home. I spent the entire afternoon and evening in the pub and missed dinner and fav tv show.  Hopeless!  I temporarily forgot I was supposed to be on a diet and on the wagon.  Oh dear.

I cleaned my greenhouse.  It is lovely.  I have little things in little pots.  I am sort of anxious about missing the moment but equally it seems too early to be sowing seeds.  I will plan a herb garden next and organise a raspberry cage.  I have dug the raspberry bed - I delegated much if it to Mr Smith as I don't even like horrible raspberries.  The canes and kit should arrive this week so I am well prepared for once.  I hope to fit in a couple of raised beds for veg.  Mr Smith will be busy.