I feel a bit mean for calling Judith Big Bra Judith Big Bra now since she kindly gave me two jars of her homemade jam when I met her at swimming this morning which I thought was jolly nice of her even if she has got a face like a dog's bottom. Stupid Big Belinda was there boring on about losing her clothes and forgetting her underwear. Who gives a fart? I so nearly confiscated her dress that she had hung on the hangers meant for coats. That would have served her right for being boring and give her something to really get worked up about but I reckon everyone would know it was me so I controlled myself.
Heard a great story yesterday about a Russian pupil at my boys' old school who, having been expelled from several other schools, was taken in by the last chance saloon (which incidentally was the Apprentice's first choice of educational establishment). In a desperate attempt to get chucked out, this boy filled the headmasters car with cow manure. I hated the man anyway so good on you kid. I think his education had to go along another route after that but apparently he has grown up into a splendid individual doing very well since he is rather bright. So glad my boys weren't burdened with brains.
I am supposed to be finishing a painting. Mr Smith walks in to inspect every now and again. I squished out a bit of paint and then played a very complicated difficult card game on my iPad. That doesn't look much like painting to me. He mentioned something about hanging the sheets out to dry .... but it's raining .... Thank you God, and anyway I'm painting. Ace to King. Ooooh look, I've finished it. A little message of congratulation appeared on the screen - Would you like to tell a friend? it enquired. Um well, that might not be the very best of ideas.
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