Mr Smith rings me from John Lewis lighting department. "Look on line at no 287". But I am up to my armpits in fibreglass in one room and in cake icing in the other. Just buy the lights of your desires. He wouldn't dare! We checked out lights later together and he is going to buy them today. Good heavens, I did two houses up completely by myself, in fact four. I am not really sure how. Maybe I didn't have such pressurised art projects looming over me at the time. Anyway, I don't entirely resent the input of Mr Smith. He is so excited about his poky little flat; I found him watching Kevin McCloud last night.
At the weekend I will be sending the Apprentice and Mr Smith off to Kent with the colour samples and light fittings. They will also need a tea bag and a mug. I shall pack them a little goody bag.
I found out that our flat belonged to two ladies with a preference for sensible shoes. "So this is what lesbian bad taste looks like" says Gary our builder. No, it's just naff.
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