Country Life

"Life is like a penis.  Simple, relaxed and hanging free.  It's the women that make it hard."

 

 I don't see what is wrong with going to pub at 4.30pm and leaving at 11pm.  It seems fine to me.  Just because Pooface wants his tea means I have to leave my diet coke ... Well actually glass of vino ... to cook his bollocksy din dins at 8.30.   

It was a very good dinner amazingly... even if I was squiffy.  It was pasta with lobster ... Real lovely local lobby lobster and I even managed to haul it out of its shell and every thing. I don't think they realised how difficult getting those bits of meat out of their spindly little legs actually was.  I felt like a Cornish fisherman unblocking his hoover.

Well, another lovely day.  Hair is terrific.  All smooth and silky despite morning swim and full wash and blow dry.  Not a frizz in sight.  I now need to get it cut but am afraid as it might hurt.

We went to Ashford Retail Stupid Place after swimming.  Mr Smith picked me up at the spa and we sharpened our credit cards.  I bought total crap.  Two pairs of ill fitting shoes, a coat that makes my arse look even bigger than it is and a whiteboard. The only item I actually wanted was the whiteboard, for teaching my mad Hungarian friend/cleaner's kids English in the vain hope that it may be better than hers.  She has packed up my flat and marked all the boxes but I can't understand anything she has written on them.  "Broken things".  I think she means Fragile. Some of the things she has simply drawn but I have no idea what these strange pieces of nuclear submarine can be.  I think they may be knitting.  I will find out one day.

I spent much of the afternoon cleaning the barbecue.  A boring greasy job.  I made out it was far more arduous and greasier than it actually was - there was an audience.  Then I awarded myself a pub visit as a reward.

Apparently Paul MacKenna tells you to map out your day so you don't bollocks it up.  To be honest mine was probably always going to be big fat croissants, worthy swim, lunatic spending spree, lovely lunch, arduous task, lots of pub.  The only bits that weren't preconsidered were the dutiful marital sex and the lobster dinner.


Annabel