A Grand Day for Mrs Smith

Yesterday Mr Smith invited me to lunch. How very nice of him, thinks I. But then I know him and he must be up to something. Oh yes, it's completion day when I get all my money from the sale of my flat. He must want some. We had a lovely lunch then dashed across Piccadilly in the pouring rain to an exhibition of delightful paintings by Gary Bunt. These made up for the very boring Royal Academy Summer show that I loitered around which just makes you wonder what it's all about really. I was, on the whole, mightily unimpressed but inspired to paint more of mine as they are heaps better than most of that load of tat.

I ended my grand day out with a drinks do at the top of BT Tower, some of us once knew it as the Post Office Tower. It revolved and made us feel a bit seasick but wow That View! Amazing. The only taller building I could see was the Shard which was very glinty in the evening sunlight. I now have a monumental hangover down to my toenails and I do so wish they'd stop the spinning. I put it down to the altitude. I really don't feel very well at all today. I am not due at work until 3pm ... Thank goodness.

Come on, come on

Oh my goodness, work is an absolute hive of activity. Dozens of busy workers are constructing telephone boxes around me, their queen. I just love this. It is just as it should be. Shall I get a whip?

Hi ho, it's bank holiday

No rest for the wicked and today I am going to be cruel to the point of merciless. I don't actually care if you want to stay late because your time management is so poor you decided to start your project less than a week to the deadline; I am going home at 5 and that is that. I do love my job but it is getting stressy and stress makes me feel quite unwell. I would prefer to be gardening today. I will point Mr Smith and a trowel at the weedy bits.

International day of coleslaw

I asked Mr Smith to buy an industrial sized pack of plastic coleslaw when he was at the supermarket as my effort for our Jubilee Street Party is to provide coleslaw. He thought that wasn't playing the game so he bought a cabbage and some carrots. I thought this was just a matter of shredding it all up, adding a bit of S&P along with the scrapings of all our old mayonnaise jars. Well, it wasn't like that at all. The carrots shredded very nicely but a little too finely and the cabbage woudn't shred at all. The kitchen and the dog are covered in little bits of carrot and cabbage. The mayo has somehow stuck all the shredded carrots into one big lump and the cabbage won't mix in very well and Mr Smith's opinion is "It's not a bit like the stuff from Waitrose."

Jubilee stains

Today Mrs Smith went to the river to watch the Jubilee boat parade sporting a bit of a hangover brought on by trying to figure out Twitter last night and having to drink lots of wine to kwell the awfulness of the whole thing; I can't make it work.  Mr Smith, who does not tweet and never will, stayed at home and made a pie.  Anyway, I arrived at Putney boat house to see the dragon boats and gondolas round up and take off which was absolutely splendid.  It got a bit cold on the river so Mr Smith came to collect me at the half way point, took me home and fed me warm tomato soup that I spilled on my brand new white trousers.  On a good note this prompted me to deal with my overflowing laundry basket and put on a whites load praying for miracles from the washing powder.  Oh heck I forgot to put any in.  I will have to split open one of those liquid tab thingies and aim it into the top bit like it tells you not to do on the instructions.   And then I will make Mr Smith's pie that he didn't make because he was so busy collecting me ... or something.  Then I will make coleslaw.

Accidental happenings

There are really annoying infuriating things in life such as itchy scratchy things, tunes that get stuck on your brain, buzzy things, next door's kids/mower, jingles, awful mobile phone ringtones inc crazy frog, most ads .... then there is the man at work who is SO demanding that no answer however comprehensive is ever good enough. It's ok because we also have a woman suffering from the same syndrome. I have brilliantly paired them off. Tonight I waved them a fond farewell as they drove off into the sunset together. Admittedly he was only giving her a lift to the station but should their car accidentally be smashed into a billion pieces by a runaway south eastern locomotive with brake failure on the way I would give praise and thanks to the God of relief from all things annoying.

Have a happy Jubilee. I know I will.

Painting the town red ... and white & blue

I had a very interesting afternoon, when I wasn't stuck in a monumental traffic jam, visiting the art supplies stores of London.  They all know me.  Well, that is they all know of BTArtbox and were delighted to meet the technician... so would I if I were them.  I assured them all in turn I would be sending artists to them for supplies.  What they don't know is they will be far too lazy to go.  One tries.  I then paid the congestion charge and whizzed back through the City.  Why on earth I tried to avoid it I don't know.  Me and many a smelly over-emissioning white van were completely chocker over Tower Bridge. However, I have to say London does look well bunted in readiness for the Jubilee.  School children seem to be having a great time dressing up as queens .... so to speak.... Quite jolly.